How to Un-Spoil Your Kids

No wants to tell their kids no. Our kids would never believe it, but we hate saying no to them. And some of us give in to that feeling a little too often. Our kids begin to expect more and more. They think they need those expensive toys advertised on TV and the clothes they see in music videos. As parents, we need to be vigilant and say no to overpriced goodies and unnecessary baubles. It’s a part of teaching our kids to be smart, self-sufficient adults who can afford to live the life of their dreams. Saying no to little things now is saying yes to happiness later.

If you’ve said yes too many times and now realize that your kids are becoming spoiled, it’s not too late to turn things around. Many families are just now realizing this problem as the family finances shrink. The next time your child asks for an expensive brand name product because they saw an advertisement or because "all their friends" have it, seize the opportunity to teach the lessons of financial restraint and the true value of things in our lives.

Brand name merchandise is expensive, often very expensive. You know this; your child may not understand the difference between buying a necessary product and buying an expensive idea that some brand name thing will make them happier, cooler, stronger, or more popular somehow. How is a child to understand that the life they want cannot be bought this way? This lesson must come from you, the parent.
 

Leading by Example - Assessing the Value of Things

Set a new standard in your home, one that applies to everyone. Effective immediately, the family will purchase only the necessities. When it is necessary to make a purchase, compare brands by evaluating ingredients or materials, quality, workmanship, and longevity. For example. do you really need a pair of new sneakers or do you just want them? The cheapest pair of sneakers may not last a summer; that would be a waste of money. The most expensive pair of brand name sneakers are no less a waste of money. How DO you evaluate value? You and your children may need to learn this together.
 

Nutritious Food is Necessary - Nothing More

The grocery store is a great place to start learning these lessons. Comparing brands is relatively easy there. Read the labels. To compromise nutritional quality would not provide value. Is the more expensive product really better? Cut out all luxury items - no more ice cream, chips, candy, no more expensive coffee (for you) etc. The grocery store is a place to obtain the most nutritious food possible on a predetermined budget.

If your child really needs to have the treats, new toys, or games, they will need to fork over their own money to get them. Special occasions such as birthdays and holidays would be the only exceptions. When they see their allowance dwindle, they will learn to make smart choices.
 

Tracking Progress is the Key to Success

Keep track of the amount of money that the family has saved. Display your accomplishments with pride in a place that is clearly visible. Set savings goals for the family, both short term and long term. Agree upon a few rewards that sufficiently motivate your family without spending more than you have saved.

•    A short term goal could be a day at the movies if your children agree to eat nutritious bag lunches for a month or two without asking for expensive pre-packaged or fast food.
•    A mid term goal could be a family savings of 5% over 6 months with a reward bring a trip to a carnival or theme park.
•    A long term goal could be a 10% savings over 12 months with a reward of an extensive summer vacation for the family.

Few parents willingly allow the massive advertising budgets of brand name manufacturers to determine what their children should think, eat, wear, or want. We have no intention of spoiling our kids, but somehow it just happens when we say “yes” too often.
 
Only you can teach your child what matters. Don't allow fussing or whining to deter you from your plan. Stay the course and be open to learning a few things yourself. You may even find that practicing frugality as a family brings you closer together.